I struggle with depression and to a lesser degree anxiety. It has never kept me in bed but it has kept me in my house and I have struggled some with destructive thoughts. As a Christian, I’ve been blessed to have a Guide through all of this. Jesus Christ, my Savior, King, Advocate, and Deliverer. He has helped me persevere in this battle and survive it. He has fought by my side and even fought for me. Because of Him, I am an overcomer! Some will say that He is my crutch. Some will say that I am weak or believe in fairy tales. Some will say that believing there is a God and believing in Jesus is proof that I’m mentally ill. I don’t care what others say. I just know what I’ve lived. I know the hell that the darkness of depression is, and how even during that deepest darkest time when I was living life in a deep dark fog and feeling alone, He was there holding me. I could feel His presence in the midst of the darkness. He was the small dim flicker of hope in that deep, cold, dark dungeon of despair that I was stuck in. Continue reading
As I make breakfast
William’s tattered mop slapped the ground with a splash, a pool of soapy water and dirt from the linoleum floor mixed with the sharp smell of Clorox. Wrinkled hands pushed the handle forward and backward in perpetual motion. Worn leather shoes shoved the bucket along the halls of the over-priced health club. Echoes of fast […]
Matching my nature
Old wagon wheel
When I was in elementary school I was diagnosed as being, “slightly dyslexic.” They were a bit confused because I could read, though spelling and math was difficult for me. Letters and numbers liked to go to the wrong places. Words didn’t always behave when I was reading but I’d somehow learned to compensate for that early on. School was very difficult for me and I believed that I was stupid, though my parents and others told me differently. This past September, I wrote this poem about what dyslexia is like for me. I thought that I’d reblog it.
Because it’s a concrete poem the formatting is messed up in the little bit that you see below. When you click to view the original post everything is readable. 🙂
As I walk with the Lord
over rocky ground,
He firmly takes my elbow –
keeping me from falling down.
Lord, I don’t have enough time
to spend with you today.
First, I need to feed my man
and send him on his way.
swollen, cracked, sore, calloused, bleeding
shaking, weak, cramped, tired
gnawing, hollow, intense aching