Today’s Five Minute Friday prompt is the word expect. I usually write a poem but today I’m just going to journal my scattered and jumbled thoughts as they come. Expect…to look forward to, anticipate, await, hope for, look for…what am I expecting? What expectations do I have?
My oldest graduated from high school this spring. Do I have expectations for him? I want the best for him. As a Christian, I would like to see him “love the Lord his God with all his heart, mind, soul, and strength,” and to follow God’s will for his life. I desire for him to reach out and show love and compassion to those in need. I would like to see him treat others as he would want to be treated and “love his neighbor as himself.” Do I have any other expectations of him? Do I expect him to go to college, get a high-paying job, or be successful and prosperous? Those would all be wonderful things but really I just desire for him to follow the call that his Creator placed on his life. If he does that he will be a successful young man. Maybe not rich but happy, fulfilled, and successful to his calling.
My thoughts shift to myself, writing, and this blog. What did I expect when I first started blogging? Did I expect to gain a lot of traffic and get a blog following? No. I just wanted a place to store the poetry I wrote. My first blog was “The Dance of Life.” After blogging there for a few years, I decided that I wanted to write more than just poetry so I started this blog. Eventually, I combined the two here and made “The Dance of Life” private. I am not sure that I fulfilled my expectations with this blog, though. While I have written a few essays and short stories, the majority of my posts are poems. Have I branched out as much as I envisioned when I first created “Sue’s Nook?” Did I meet my expectations? No, I don’t think that I have. I had envisioned writing a larger variety of genre’s here on my blog. Am I letting fears of what other’s will think of my writing, faith, and viewpoints hold me back? I’m not sure. I need to ponder on that a bit. What are my expectations?
Am I letting fears of what other’s will think of my writing, faith, and viewpoints hold me back from fulfilling my expectations? I’m not sure. I know that I’m letting my insecurities hold me back some. I let the demons from my past, keep me locked in their chains and hold me back. I hear them whispering in my ear that my grammar and spelling are atrocious, my words are not descriptive enough, I have too many run-on sentences, mixed up tenses, my writing is boring, and that no one will want to read what I have to write. It’s all so silly because who am I writing for in the first place? Who do I expect to read my writing? I’m just writing for myself, for my Creator, and to encourage anyone else who may happen along.
Well, my five minutes are up. Before I close, I would like to add that I posted the photo of the bridge at the Conrad Weiser Homestead because it’s a visual of where I am at right now. I’m standing in front of the bridge looking towards the trees on the other side. What will I choose to do? Will I cast my insecurities aside, cross over, and see what is awaiting me amidst the trees? Maybe, just maybe, I’ll accept the invitation of the footbridge.
A well-used footbridge
invites me to move forward
with hope, faith, and spunk.