Expectations (FMF)

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Today’s Five Minute Friday prompt is the word expect.  I usually write a poem but today I’m just going to journal my scattered and jumbled thoughts as they come.  Expect…to look forward to, anticipate, await, hope for, look for…what am I expecting?  What expectations do I have?

My oldest graduated from high school this spring.  Do I have expectations for him?  I want the best for him.  As a Christian, I would like to see him “love the Lord his God with all his heart, mind, soul, and strength,” and to follow God’s will for his life.  I desire for him to reach out and show love and compassion to those in need.  I would like to see him treat others as he would want to be treated and “love his neighbor as himself.”  Do I have any other expectations of him?  Do I expect him to go to college, get a high-paying job, or be successful and prosperous?  Those would all be wonderful things but really I just desire for him to follow the call that his Creator placed on his life.  If he does that he will be a successful young man.  Maybe not rich but happy, fulfilled, and successful to his calling.

My thoughts shift to myself, writing, and this blog.  What did I expect when I first started blogging?  Did I expect to gain a lot of traffic and get a blog following?  No.  I just wanted a place to store the poetry I wrote.  My first blog was “The Dance of Life.”  After blogging there for a few years, I decided that I wanted to write more than just poetry so I started this blog.  Eventually, I combined the two here and made “The Dance of Life” private.  I am not sure that I fulfilled my expectations with this blog, though.  While I have written a few essays and short stories, the majority of my posts are poems.  Have I branched out as much as I envisioned when I first created “Sue’s Nook?”  Did I meet my expectations?  No, I don’t think that I have.  I had envisioned writing a larger variety of genre’s here on my blog.  Am I letting fears of what other’s will think of my writing, faith, and viewpoints hold me back?  I’m not sure.  I need to ponder on that a bit.  What are my expectations?

Am I letting fears of what other’s will think of my writing, faith, and viewpoints hold me back from fulfilling my expectations?  I’m not sure.  I know that I’m letting my insecurities hold me back some.  I let the demons from my past, keep me locked in their chains and hold me back.  I hear them whispering in my ear that my grammar and spelling are atrocious, my words are not descriptive enough, I have too many run-on sentences, mixed up tenses, my writing is boring, and that no one will want to read what I have to write.  It’s all so silly because who am I writing for in the first place?  Who do I expect to read my writing?  I’m just writing for myself, for my Creator, and to encourage anyone else who may happen along.

Well, my five minutes are up.  Before I close, I would like to add that I posted the photo of the bridge at the Conrad Weiser Homestead because it’s a visual of where I am at right now.  I’m standing in front of the bridge looking towards the trees on the other side.  What will I choose to do?  Will I cast my insecurities aside, cross over, and see what is awaiting me amidst the trees?  Maybe, just maybe, I’ll accept the invitation of the footbridge.

A well-used footbridge
invites me to move forward
with hope, faith, and spunk.

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5 thoughts on “Expectations (FMF)

  1. I came here from #fmf and was suprised at how similar our thoughts has been my blog post just before todays was myself asking should i stop blogging. Ive decided to just remember why i write xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Keep on keeping on, Susan. I think you found your gift. I enjoy your writing, it is great to see you enjoy it so much and are feeling fulfilled in it.

    Liked by 1 person

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